It’s a hypothetical question, but imagine if Pattinson or Johannson were to come and perch on the edge of your bed. ‘I wouldn’t say no,’ a Polish fan would purr (nim bym nie pogardziła). A German fan 'wouldn't kick him/ her out of bed’ (Die/ Den würde ich nicht von der Bettkante stossen) - a phrase you’d never dare to utter in front of a star’s face, but which makes up plenty amongst gossiping groups of friends. The slang term in English is I wouldn’t kick him/ her out of bed for eating crackers, a reference to not minding if a mess was made by eating biscuits in bed. If you want to take the imagery even further, what could be more tolerance-testing than 'I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for farting?'
The Spaniards would react in a similar situation with a severe bodily instinct: ‘You are so hot I would cover you in a coat of saliva’ (estás tan buena que te haría un traje de saliva). The French, food lovers, cry ‘She’s as hot as a fish and chips van’ (Elle est chaude comme une baraque à frites). Translated literally as it is, it sounds like the dodgy end of a compliment, but the phrase actually comes from a French comedy called Podium.
Illustration: © Henning Studte