The Lunatics Talk About Asylum...

Article published on Nov. 11, 2007
community published
Article published on Nov. 11, 2007
It seems that you cannot pick up a newspaper or watch the news without encountering an item on immigration.
If the proclamations of doom springing from the pages of the Daily Mail are to be believed the The British Isles, so overburdened by the weight of illegal immigrants, will soon flip on its axis and capsize - leaving millions of Brits clinging to bits of garden furniture and desperately trying to make it to the safe haven of France.

That's assuming that the French let them in of course...

Reflecting on this over a quiet pint in my local pub, my attention was drawn by a rather plump, obnoxious woman in (possibly) her late 30s. From the way she was dressed I would assume she would be on a reasonable income, but the idiotic things she was coming out with just go to prove that intelligence and financial security are not inextricably linked. I was so amazed by her rant, I took it upon myself to transcribe it for posterity.

"I don't think these immigrants should be allowed to come over here. I mean many of them do not speak no good English. They come over here, take our jobs. This is our country, this is our language and they should be prepared for that. And I don't care if they are escaping torture, they were born there and should stay where they are. I pay my taxes to help British people, not scrounging asylum seekers"

A few minutes later she piped up again. By now the conversation had turned to buying property in Spain (yes it wouldn't be Britain without talking about house prices). "I'd like to live there" proffered our portly commentator, "but they would have to speak English because I wouldn't want to have to learn Spanish".

Thankfully they were so engaged in conversation, they didn't notice the smug-looking man in the corner writing all this down and smirking into his Guinness.