The Beauty that Frightens (My city K.Mitrovica)

Article published on Nov. 14, 2012
Article published on Nov. 14, 2012
Author: Anesa Colakovic, Kosovo Photos taken by Anesa Colakovic The day started like any other. Like every single day, I follow the same old routine; get up, eat breakfast find something to wear in the closet, get dressed, and leave. No variation, no chance for change or creativity.
When I come back from school and enter into my small lovely rectangular room colored with light gold color walls and dark gold ceiling. As I open the room’s door straight ahead I see two large windows with gold curtains and small red roses on them.

My bed, which is covered with a red and gold color bedspread is under the windows. On my left against the wall there is a large bookcase filled with books; most of them scientific books. Close to the door and next to the bookcase there is a desk and a chair with a small woven wastepaper basket underneath the desk. That night I sat on the couch in a hushed room with my half shut eyes, borrowing a moment to inhale serenity that seems to float in the air like a cloud of fog. I was listening to the silence, listening closely until I noticed that the silence is an absence of the apparent sound creating its own symphony. Symphony as an orchestral that is being kept alive by a careful beating of my heart and tick-tacks of the small, thin, golden wall clock tightly stuck on the vivid color of my room’s wall. I concentrated on the beats, observing that its rhythm is steadily and confidently throbbing. I desperately wanted a cup of coffee and I finally opened my eyes, and pulled myself out of this despair. My natural agility allowed me to excel, but a bypass to a cuisine seemed far away, and not ending at all. I was almost catching my every single fall. I could neither explain myself, nor understand. Anticipation filled my body, from the tip of my head to the extreme bottom of my toes. Finally, that rich aroma of the coffee filled my lungs and made me feel as I taste it already.

Peace and tranquility settled upon my soul, and I felt that everything is right while a hot black coffee is passing through me. I was absent minded for a moment or two, and I started thinking why I am feeling so cripple or so incapable of doing something. I had also the feeling of empower that I did not know what to do or how to tackle the atmosphere that was making me weaker and weaker. I had never felt so much pain. The pain that seemed like it immobilized my body. I had never felt so depressed that I really did not know where the source of depression was coming from. These were the thoughts that were passing through my mind. Sometimes many thoughts in my mind lose their connotation because there are times in my life when I feel I cannot keep going on, because I feel like the world all around me has shattered, but I have to keep holding. Elicitation of the truth can be at times; therefore, I realize that life has its ups and downs, and we all learn to deal with them in different ways.

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