Superheroes or villains?

Article published on Jan. 18, 2008
community published
Article published on Jan. 18, 2008
Adios 2007Every year I wonder the same thing. What was worse? Was it 2007 itself, or the fact that it was a year in which I had the bad luck to come across certain rubbish films? I decide on the latter - these bad films unabashedly formed part of 2007's successes and failures.

Maybe it was that blood-curdling sequence on that rainy Sunday at the cinema, which made us realise that things could be a lot worse. Or perhaps that comedy of misfortunes we saw the day after, which brightened a bad day. Or even that dialogue on the beach at sunset, between the main characters, which yanked us out of our sleepy mode. was the worst film of 2007. An honest example of this symbiosis I speak of at the beginning. Sorry, but I want them to suffer like I suffered, and here is a short summary (crap music included) of the most disastrous piece of cinema ever done in the year gone by (RIP). Look at it on the bright side; we're not subjecting you to watching the entire thing. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

The parallels between the Fantastic Four's superhero protagonists and reality are shudder-inducing. Without a doubt, the patheric 'Human Torch' character played by Chris Evans (who can burst into flame at will), is the spitting image of the best cowboy in the west: , who with his own secret selection of pyromaniac superpowers sets fire to everything he touches. Afghanistan in flames, Iraq in chars. We hope that the American people don't vote for a Republican sequel in the next presidential elections in early 2009, to hit Iran or Syria for example. George W. Bush

The 'Invisible Woman' character played by most resembles UN secretary-general Ban Ki-Moon. Both are commendable for their capacity to disappear when they most need to be not seen. Where was the short South Korean during the Bali conference on climate change, between 3 – 14 December 2007? To cite a recent example, nor did he make any much-needed international appearances after the assassination of Pakistani opposition leader Benazir Bhutto on 27 December 2007. Jessica Alba

Then, there's no denying that Venezuelan president is not the carbon copy of 'The Thing' (gruffly played by Michael Chiklis). Just look at that rock squared head they share. Chavez's socialist dreams rub up against dangerous friendships, be it with a homophobic Iranian or a weird Nicaraguan. And the character played by lead protagonist , Mr. Fantastic, resembles no more and no less than French president himself.SupersarkoHugo Chavez Ioan GruffuddNicolas Sarkozy

With his elastic superpowers, Supersarko is capable of raising those stretchy arms and saving humanity, freeing political prisoners (be they in Chad or Colombia), at the same time as liberating his country from the remora of its 1968 past, and making love to ( Italian singer-songwriter

Carla Bruni. A real superman, whose personal life (like all the French people's), appears to be directed from up on high by a group of American directors on strike . Such artists, those politicians! They're born actors, and even without a script have been capable of making a film ten times as devastating as any you'd be able to find on last year's cinema screens. Unfortunately, this is the film of our life at the moment - and we've had to pay a whopper of an entry fee to get in and watch it. Ironically, the protagonist of my favourite film of the year, Persepolis, is far from being a flesh and blood character. The cartoon heroine is refreshingly black and white and fights for happiness amidst the bombs of the 1979 Iranian revolution, childhood friends, Iranian – French immigration, rejection and the love of her family. Hopefully 2008 will provide us with more black and white stories, and less wannabe superhero shenanigans. Translation: Nabeelah Shabbir