In Honour of my Mayor : 5 Things You Didn't Know About the Mayor of Berlin

Article published on Sept. 18, 2014
Article published on Sept. 18, 2014

This article has not been vetted by an editor at Paris HQ

After thirteen years of good and faithful service, Klaus Wowereit, known as Wowi, announced that he is stepping down as mayor of Berlin. Here is a nice tribute in honour of my mayor.

Wowi, no, how can you do this to us ? We got along so well. I know, recently, it has been a bit difficult. But, come on Wowi, come back!

These dramatic times are making us sweat, so in remembrance let’s contemplate together who Wowi was :

1 – The man who succeeded in keeping Tegel airport open

And that deserves a spot in my personal Hall of Fame. As I had written in my article for this very magazine: Tegel and me, we're as thick as thieves. I live just 20 minutes away and I've never missed a plane. It’s not like that other one over there, that Schoenefeld airport, in that tacky orange colour. On top of that, it’s in the east, I'm just saying. Since my article, Klaus has done everything to preserve Tegel and to prevent Schoenefeld from opening. It has not always been easy, he had to make up stories to push back the commencement. But he was the only one able to do so. Now that he’s gone, I am freaking out over my favourite airport.

2 – Zidane's head butt, that was him

In 2006, on which playing field did the glorious Zidane end with bang, a head bang that is? Yes that’s right, Berlin. And Usain Bolt who won the world record for the 100 meter dash? Yes, you know what I’m going to say. On the blue track in Berlin. Alright, let’s complete this trilogy of living gods with Haile Gebreselassie who broke the marathon world record. I’ll let you guess where.

Might as well say that now that Wowi is gone, it’s going to mess things up sports wise. The Hertha Berlin (the city’s football club) will only fantasise about the Intertoto Cup and the bid for the 2024 Olympic Games will end up being a billion-euro construction site for nothing. And that wouldn’t have happened with Wowi.

3 – He is considered the best advertiser in the world

Bam, he says one thing and everyone loses their mind. Even the guys from Mad Men are jealous of Wowi. This guy says "Poor, but sexy" and everyone wants to come to Berlin. Incredible. That slogan succeeded in attracting all the rich kids in the world. And a rich kid that dresses poor to be sexy, you know what that is? A hipster. Oh yes, Wowi is the inventer of the hipster.

4 – The man that fixes public transportation every spring

Yes, because, unlike anyone would have thought, winters are very cold in Berlin. And, with no luck there was snow as well. So as expected, the S-Bahn (the tram) broke down. Luckily, Superwowi was there to save the day. Well, when there’s no more snow, no more cold, there’ll be no more excuses.

5- The Merkel of regional politics

This guy has a political blood type of AB+. A member of the SPD, he can ally himself with whomever: the CDU, Die Linke, the Green party and even with Arne Friedrich (yes, you have to know your classics in football). A little like Merkel on a national level who will ally herself with the first party she finds. Now that Wowi is gone, it’s going to be a political hay day. Everyone will want to take advantage of his departure. We will then have to settle it at the Hipsterlympics with an ironic game, like throw the organic currywurst, and we’ll do it on the tarmac of the abandoned airport Tempelhof. We would have come full circle. Wowi, we miss you already.